Relationships Matter

Ultimately, it is personal relationships that are the most valuable assets.
relationshipsMatter

So, the other day I was having lunch with a former colleague. He was interviewing for a senior technology leadership role at an asset manager, and was pleased to inform me that he had received, and accepted an offer! Of course, I was very happy for him. What he told me next, though, really meant something to me, personally. As he was preparing for these interviews and others, he indicated that he would often read, and re-read material that I had published on the Fintova LinkedIn page.

To understand why I was so moved by his statement, it’s useful to briefly follow my career trajectory.

I started my career as a software engineer, and was quite good at it. To this day, people are often surprised by how deep I can still go into the technology stack, which I actually quite enjoy. In those days, I was more of an individual contributor, but could also be very strong-willed and impatient: in part, and without seeking to make any excuses, this was how I was able to deliver at such a high level, even if I wasn’t always bringing others along for the ride.

As my career progressed, I began to lead teams. I’ve always preferred the term, “leader”, to “manager”. Whereas a “manager” can often be an administrative function, a “leader”, in my view, invests personal and political capital, has conviction to take principled positions, and can motivate individuals and teams to do great things. Just as bad leaders can create a toxic work environment, truly good leaders can have an outsized positive impact towards the success of individuals and the team, at large, let alone a company. My early transition from individual contributor to leader, however, was not so easy, just as the transition from a professional athlete to a coach isn’t always smooth. I would often expect others to produce at the same level and pace at which I was accustomed to delivering, and would be disappointed if they didn’t.

With eyes wide open, you ultimately learn that everyone runs their own race, and being a strong leader often requires emotional intelligence, empathy, honesty, transparency, individual coaching, culture setting, communication and team building. These skills aren’t binary, and require a certain amount of maturity. Moreover, they are often quite different from the skills that may have contributed to success as an individual contributor. As you grow as a leader, however, these softer skills become a significant part of your toolkit, and ultimately help to define your leadership ethos and style. Today, these skills are far more innate to me than when I first absorbed leadership responsibilities. Perhaps, most importantly, I now also get the same satisfaction out of coaching, or mentoring a colleague towards a successful outcome as I used to get from delivering an awesome piece of code!

Coming full circle, the fact that this colleague continued to value my insights, friendship and mentorship, even though we no longer worked together, was what meant so much to me. Over the years, I’ve been very thankful to maintain many strong relationships with former colleagues and staff, some with whom I’ve had the opportunity to work, again. Ultimately, it is those personal relationships that are the most valuable assets I’ve built over the course of my 30-year career.

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